I never saw it coming but I should have. After all I am on a battlefield. But for a moment I had forgotten. With a few victories my pride had grown. I believed in my abilities instead of Him. With that i made myself vulnerable. An easy target to be attacked.
I have fallen. Been tripped over by a decision I made without Him. A mistake that now consumes me. The weight of it crashes me in the day and suffocates me at night. I wake up to the pain of knowing that I have failed. I breathe in the disappointment that clings to the air. I try to get up but I’m bounded by shame. I cry out but my guilt chokes me up. All that remains is fear for what’s to come.
But then I look into His Word and He tells me He hasn’t given me the spirit of fear. He reminds me that He’s my strength. There’s nothing that He cannot do. In my weakness, He’s made stronger. Even though I walked out on him, He forgives me and welcomes me. He evelopes me in his love and promises to never leave me.
The Word gives me hope. With him I’m able to breathe. The pain becomes bearable. He holds me up and helps me to take a step. As I look to him, he’ll direct my path. How blessed am I to have Him on my side. The God of gods, King of kings, Lord of lords. Thank you Father.